I'm going to tell you about myself, so you can fully understand this blog. When I entered the 6th grade at a brand new school, I already had my period, was shaving my legs, and had a D cup. This school is considered urban, and I was one of a few white kids.... one of four in the choir. I am already standing out because of my skin color and trust me, in middle school, kids start to notice things like that. And now, I'm packing D cups and standing 5'8, almost an entire foot above all of the boys and most of the girls. I started slouching, not just because of the strange pains I was having in my neck and back, but because I was trying to hide my chest. I wore sports bras to try to pin them down, which never really worked. I went to physical therapy for my neck and back pains. I could never talk to anyone about the strange embarrassment and pains I was having because no one could relate.... none of the girls that I was friends with and not my mother, who has been a B cup her whole life. I clearly inherited my father's side of the family's genes. Speaking of friends, I didn't have many back then. Girls are harsh, especially in middle school. There were rumors about me everywhere, that I stuffed my bra, that I was a 'slut,' although I'm sure no one knew what that meant. The slut rumor stayed with me when I entered high school, an especially cruel rumor at that age, that all began just because of my breast size and jealous little girls.
I eventually came out of my shell and was not so shy anymore as I grew older. Fast forward to my college years at Kent State University. There, I found girls who were like me-- average build with large breasts. I joked around when I would meet a new girl with large breasts that we were connected by the bonds of the BBS-- the Big Breasted Sisterhood.
I have struggled since college years to get my posture to where it needs to be after purposefully slouching for so many years. I discovered pilates and strengthened my back muscles to hold me up. I felt more confident that I had friends at my side that also had large chests, and pretty soon, we felt good about even showing them off a bit! When we went out, we wore low-cut tops and were not sorry about it! Other girls were jealous, just like in middle school, but this time, none of us cared. We felt good about ourselves and that was one hell of a wonderful reality change.
But reality always changes. My friends that were what I thought of as average build were a bit overweight, and over the years when their weights dropped, so did their breast size. Not me. As I got older, my breasts grew as my waistline shrinked. Now I'm a 32 F. Yes, I said F. Don't get too freaked out by this. They are not full, at least not on top. For many years, I wore a 36 DD, but that was always incorrect-- the band was way too big and I was spilling out of the cups. One fine day, when I got properly measured at Nordstrom, I walked out of there with a new life-- a better postured life, and a very expensive one-- $75 for a bra! I'll cover great places for bra shopping on a different day.
At 27, I don't look like I have THAT large of breasts anymore. In fact, when people guess my size, they guess C or D cup. I apparently look tiny in clothing, which is nice, I suppose, after so many years of looking big. I have been told that I "hide" them well. I definitely still wear low-cut tops when I go out in the evenings because dammit, I should flaunt what I've got! But apparently, people still don't understand the size until undressing. When I am first intimate with someone, it is always a shock. They are either really into them or not at all. There's never really an in-between. When they're not into them, it makes me feel awful about myself. One negative comment can fuel a fire in me. It is an insecure topic for me. I may act really cool and confident about them and laugh off any negative comments, but that one... that one little side comment can really effect me. I am a female afterall. We hold a lot of confidence, beauty, and insecurities in our breasts.
If you're wondering if I ever made more friends for the BBS, I have many. The group always grows, never declines. Once a BBS, always a BBS, because the BBS is for anyone who has known the struggles and the glorious perks of having large breasts! This group is for you!
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